Entire population of Earth lines the streets of Merseyside as Rafa's heroes create chances - Chris Bascombe (aged 14 and three quarters).

Just in case our favourite LFC "journalist" is feeling too depressed after yesterday I've ghost written his column for him...free of charge!

Entire population of Earth lines the streets of Merseyside as Rafa's heroes create chances - Chris Bascombe (aged 14 and three quarters).

It's a feat that's rightly being heralded as the greatest acheivment not only in the history of football but in the history of humankind itself.

Hapless, cynical Chelsea were limited to just one goal by the brave liverpool defense and surely now the lost opportunity to increase their goal difference will be a crushing blow to their attempt to buy the Premiership title once again.

How those Chelsea players love to emulate liverpool's skill and courage. Brave £120,000-a-week captain Stevie Gerrard and his band of big money foreign and domestic signings stood up to Abramovich's mercenaries and actually created chances. Time and again liverpool hoped for a penalty or brilliantly hit shots just off target. Faced with this onslaught The Pensioners, clearly rattled, could only respond with a single Didier Drogba goal. The nerves were etched on the face of players like Frank Lampard and John Terry and their minds were clearly plagued by thoughts of that historic night in Istanbul. This result surely vindicates Raffa's brave and innovative policy of resting key players in the build up to this crunch match between the supposed champions and the high flying 15th placed Anfield club.

Whilst embittered Evertonians danced for joy after winning their 'cup final' last week Benitez was already plotting the slight decline in Chelsea's goal scoring rates. Indeed, so deep is Mourinho's obsession with beating the mighty reds that Benitez decided to base all his recent selection policies on keeping his first-team fresh in the lead up to the crunch, grudge match.

It's a result that's sure to delight to liverpool faithful and further stoke the inexplicable, none-jealousy based dislike of the classless, cheating money-obessed Londoners. As one liverpool fan stated yesterday "The whole footballing world was behind the red's crusade to single handedly save football from the grasps of these none-g14 big spenders".

In other news the council have been unable to trace the source of a grinding, oscillating sound heard at the cemetary where Bill Shankly's remains are buried.

Apologies to The Liverpool Echo.